I have received you recent rejection notice. It is extremely well-written and imaginative, but I'm afraid it's just not what I'm looking for right now. Consequently, I'm going to have to publish my short story in your magazine/anthology/website/newsletter/loose sheaf of crumpled notebook paper anyway.
Please bear in mind that even an excellent rejection letter will not meet the tastes of every writer. As I'm sure you're aware, I receive MANY rejection letters, and can only accept a small percentage. I am confident that you will find a home for your work very soon with another reputable author.
Best wishes going forward, and I hope you will bear me in mind for future rejections.
-Steve DuBois