The Clyde Dialogues: The Beards of Victory, part 1

https://www.bayardbeardbody.com/

Clyde, ever since humans managed to gather enough cereal crops to feed an army, we've been using those cereal crops to feed armies. Military history may not be in vogue right at the moment--not when it's possible for professional historians to spend their time investigating the heteronormativity of Omar Bradley and whether Joan of Arc was trans--but I maintain that it is inseparable from history more broadly. For my species loves nothing better than to hit each other over the head with sticks, and there have always been some men (and women) (but mostly men) who were better at it than others.

The Clyde Dialogues: Goblin Mode

It is time to talk about the goblins, Clyde.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
(Adobe stock images)

The Clyde Dialogues: The Ship of Theseus

 Tell me about the Ship of Theseus, Clyde.

(from https://www.themarginalian.org/)

The Clyde Dialogues: Five Ring Circus

The International Olympic Committee has botched it, Clyde.

The Olympics were reborn in 1896 as a celebration of human physical capacity and a mechanism to foster the brotherhood of nations. Today, they are a shameless cash-grab conducted by the scummiest individuals the nations of the world can assemble, a wretched hive of scum and villainy that makes FIFA look honest by comparison. There is nothing to be done but tear the whole edifice down and start from scratch.

Even Gianni Infantino says "Jesus, guys, have some dignity."
(Pierre de Coubertin via Wikipedia)

The Clyde Dialogues: Revenge of the Moonpoops

I've been thinking, Clyde. Thinking about our Project Artemis conversation. I've been thinking about those 96 bags of human excrement that our astronauts left on the moon as a perfect encapsulation of humanity's general mode of interaction with the cosmos. And about the implications they pose for the human future.

The Clyde Dialogues: Luna Delenda Est

 We’re finally doing it, Clyde! We’re finally gonna destroy the Moon!

WE ARE COMING FOR YOU, YOU CRATERY BASTARD
(ABC News)

The Clyde Dialogues: Fat of the Land

Claude, I do not understand how the records that human beings have set for obesity are possible within the limits of physics.

The Clyde Dialogues: Digging to China

Get in, loser! We're going diggin'!

Source: nvodka@Reddit

The Clyde Dialogues: Enter the Felt

It is time to confront one of the core questions that has plagued philosophers for centuries: which Muppet would triumph in a pit-fighting tournament?